Through these pages I aim to share reflections, observations, insights and approaches that I have found useful in the process of personal crisis, self-discovery, self-awareness, self-healing and growth. These are not original, existing in a wide and eclectic body of practice and literature. They are, however, grounded in my own personal experience. My hope is that they may prove useful to anyone on the path of personal growth, self-healing and self-awareness.
Thrust into the turmoil of mental, emotional crisis, not knowing how long the nightmare might last, the only way was to live one day at a time, the only way to get through the day to learn somehow how to weather the storm, manage the onslaught of thoughts and emotions, hopefully swimming, not drowning. There was no 'light at the end of the tunnel', but somehow I knew that if I kept going, kept surviving, I would eventually reach the light.
Swami Brahmananda.
In truth, to attain interior peace, one must be willing to pass through
the contrary to peace.
There are many different ways to meditate, many schools and traditions of meditation. When I was first attracted to meditation, I was expecting some mystical experience. This didn't seem to happen, so I lost interest. It took some time to give up my expectations and simply practise with an open mind. The next obstacle was frustration. When I attempted to meditate, my mind kept wandering off. What was I doing wrong? A better question would have been to ask what was happening. I was simply experiencing mind.
to be continued
The therapist R D Laing, when asked if he suffered from sleeplessness, replied that he prefered to see himself as suffering from 'wakefulness'. I think that is a step in the right direction.
You are lying in bed. You have to get up early the next day. You want to sleep, but your mind is busy, often with disjointed, incomprehensible thoughts, often looping in endless circles. Paradoxically, the worst thing to do is to 'try' to sleep. The first step is to give up trying. Stop fretting. Whatever is preventing you from sleeping does not respond to the voice in your head saying 'let me sleep!' A tactical approach is what is required.
The more you practise these skills, the more effective they become.